San Antonio Recap

Everyone in my house (that would be Merrin ) is sitting on pins and needles waiting to see what I will/won’t reveal in my trip notes. Well, I’m spilling it all. No sacred cows here! So, here goes the recap, scattershot style:

Busted mirror will bring good luck…ran over the curb…I need a fishbowl…homeless people in the mail barn with baggage…Sam’s Club supply of snackies…car smells like McDonalds…Josh fixed that…tolltag jail…it can’t rain all day…yes it can…this song sucks…it’s a long walk from here…this song rules…Kolaches…I had to pee 200 miles ago, why stop now?…hawk…Brazos Belle? Did her…hawk…that’s not a hawk…spider…wardriving…cemetery…freeway-up or down? go down! go down!…no outside toilets…bottoms wanted…6-8 black men…pterodactyl…we are going to need an arc…can’t see the road, can you Russ?…you used a gps to tell me I’m getting 26 mpg?…tenament on wheels, free a/c, free water…use your arm sleeve – see if it’s raining…red man museum – tobacco?…pelican…more computing power than nasa…and some c4, just in case…two morsels of lumber…feathers, not dots…my grandma’s snuff…we’re here, sorta…I can’t see shit…go towards that building…metroid…good thing we brought the gps – hasn’t worked yet…don’t mess with the snake or you’ll get the venom…go ask a 10 year old how to beat it…try turning here, here, here, here, and here…aqui, here, aqui…we made it…wham! curb!…I so need a fishbowl!…Here’s your $560 room…cheerleaders…go haley todd!…listen for sex…it can’t rain all day…yes, it can…busting ass in the hotel driveway…wtf no fishbowl…YMCA linedancers but no fishbowl?!…how big a glass ya got?…bring two…empty potatoes…one more drink & you can take my picture…more rain? more drinks!…can I buy a liter? how many glasses in a liter?…to the hotel bar!…ruin another song…mojito!…petron! is it his birthday?…goodnight!

Room service, again…Mrs. Donahue & Mr. Cooper? don’t tell – Mr. Donahue is next door…what are we going to do today?…it’s 10a, I need a drink…El Mercado?…church…governor’s mansion…spanish wh0res…poppers…”$0.75 beers till they last”…huh?…pigeon…hawk…tastes like chicken…a Camille license plate…I like that shirt…do they make muy-muy-grande?…luchadore mask?…I need a bullwhip…let’s eat where the pigeons’ spoink…it smells like shit out here…I like my goats young & tender…song?…bunko babes…song?…pigeon godfather…he’s going to spoink…now we’re drinking…song?…la via de sabado…la villita es crapola…get on your knees in front of the cannon…they should get some people and make the shops open…boatride…permission to come aboard…Atlanta, no Hot-lanta…wave…gator!…goodbye…wave…wave…wave…I wanted to talk…cookies…Hooters….pitcher one…we’re not hungry, give me 20 wings…pitcher two…are you a hoverer?…boys-only pitcher…where’d all the wings go?…you won’t do lipstick with the sauce, triple dog dare…next bar…Mad Dogs…that’s not a good picture of you…Beer Wench…you need to get one of them tartan skirts…and hooker boots…red boots?!…and a star shirt…you pee on the union jack…you need to get one of those tartan skirts…will you fill that up for $100…tartan skirt?…shut up, Kevin…oops!chair…I never thought it could happen to me…another chair…nope, same chair…is it dark?…can I please have another beer?…race to the stairs…finally, Casa Rio…shirt slut…I will steal that bachlorette’s present…you need whiskey…that old lady winked at me…take a picture of your food…hotel bar, or not…go Haley Todd!…mas keys, por favor…Kevin cheer…me go seepy.

I only sound like this because I haven’t talked to anyone…breakfast buffet…Sr. VP & VP, shhh!…Don’t I know you?…Josh is up…let’s roll.,.I can go the whole way without peeing…or gas…roll the window down…keep it down…hawk…give me ephedra & red bull…why are they all on your side…roll the window down!…I can’t make it to Waco…if I switch sides, all the hawks will too…Flying J…do you have tp?…On to West!…KKK Sandwich – white bread, swiss cheese, & turkey…scratchoffs…about 50 degrees…take on for the team…hawk…hind catcher…who would play you?…Beaver…34 degrees…roll down the damn window…window lock…that sign always says accident…I swear I will not be able to resell this car…tolltag!…tolltag!…maybe it will ice!…roll down the window…home!…I’m so tired I’ll never be able to blog all this….

{{The End – of what I can tell you – and this wasn’t even the good stuff!}}