If the Bible had been written by dogs
In the beginning, the People created the grass and the birds and the squirrels. And the World was without Dinner, and Treats; and the People left, so it was time to sleep.
And the People came back, and said “Let there be Dinner”: and there was dinner.
And the Dinner was good: And it divided the sleeping-time from the eating-time.
And People called the Dinner “Food”, and the sleeping-time they called Night-Night.
And the eating and the sleeping were the first Day.
And the People said, “Let there be a fence in the midst of the World, and let it divide the Outside from the Go Home”. And the People divided the grass which was inside the Outside from the grass and vehicles and squirrels and birds which were outside the Outside: And it was so. And the People called the Outside “Home”, and set within it a Get In Here, with all the power and righteousness and Food and Night-Night.
And the People said, “Let the Outside bring forth squirrels, and rabbits, and interesting little bugs”: and it was so. And the People blessed them saying, “Be fruitful, and multiply, and fill the Yard, but do not enter the Get In Here, even though ye be dead and flat and matted.
And the eating and the sleeping and the chasing were the second Day.
And thus it was and would be for all eternity.