I have issues tonight
I’m working through some issues tonight. I have a plan, though. I’m going to watch one scene from Christmas Vacation over and over again. And then, I’m going to watch Big Fat Obnoxious Fiance and laugh at other people’s lives. Then I’m going to re-watch Office Space for about the eleventy billionth time. Then, I’m going to devise a way to actually gut & clean fish on my desk at work tomorrow.
Sorry for the way this comes across. It’s not a side of myself that I like or share too often. Everyone stay behind the yellow line. The lion is grumpy.
Hey! If any of you are looking for any last-minute gift ideas for me, I have one. I’d like Frank Shirley, my boss, right here tonight. I want him brought from his happy holiday slumber over there on Melody Lane with all the other rich people and I want him brought right here, with a big ribbon on his head, and I want to look him straight in the eye and I want to tell him what a cheap, lying, no-good, rotten, four-flushing, low-life, snake-licking, dirt-eating, inbred, overstuffed, ignorant, blood-sucking, dog-kissing, brainless, dickless, hopeless, heartless, fat-ass, bug-eyed, stiff-legged, spotty-lipped, worm-headed sack of monkey shit he is! Hallelujah! Holy shit! Where’s the Tylenol?
Clarke Griswald, Christmas Vacation